I’ve been hearing an increasingly loud and annoyingly stubborn tick-tock for the last couple of years. It wasn’t my arm wrist but my ovaries and uterus banging away. I finally listened to the orchestra down there, and had a proper procreation discussion with my husband in the spring of 2006. ‘Why don’t we start trying in the fall’ we decided.
One deciding factor to get on with things was my age. I’m pushing 35, and we all know what happens once the clock strikes 35: your chances for conception suddenly drop and the risks that something will go wrong with the baby increase. You can’t open a newspaper these days without something with ‘infertility’, ‘older women’, ‘IVF’, ‘complications’ screaming at you from the headlines. As I started to get older, I grew increasingly concerned about all this and consequently I was relieved to have a plan. One step closer to my dream of becoming a mother!
So if this is your dream, you may ask, why didn’t you get started earlier? My answer is predictable: I just wasn’t ready till now. Not that I am all that ready now (certainly not practically speaking) but if we’d wait until I’m perfectly ready I’ll be a 44-year-old wrinkled hag with an aching hip. This is as good as it gets. Besides we’ll have nine long months to get things into order. Plenty of time. Surely.
Life proceeded nicely after our discussion. We travelled and fully enjoyed living in London (which means downing pints most of the time), went to events, galleries, festivals and oh did I mention the drinking? We partied like it was 1989. Or 1889 considering we drank absinthe too.
In August, though, it was time to sober up. I went off the Pill. For the next few weeks we had visitors so no chance of egg fertilization. But as soon as they left I scheduled a celebratory get-away weekend to kick off this Project. It’s good fun although it didn’t lead to anything. Better luck next time.
The months went on and no results. I had hoped to have some beginners luck, that by now I’d have a rounded tummy and exciting news to tell. But then again we haven’t been trying that diligently, nor have I really plotted my fertile days. But that was then, this is now. It’s a new year and I’m taking charge. Tomorrow I’m having my first appointment with an ovulation stick. This is where it all begins.
