In preparation for the Pending Big Event, I’ve started to read Tracy Hogg’s ‘Secrets of the Baby Whisperer’. I think it will be a great help, and have ordered Spouse to read it too.
This Yorkshire lady is all about common sense, and I like that. Generally speaking, she says the baby should be made a part of your life, not vice versa. See the baby as an individual, and establish a routine (E.A.S.Y. = Eating, Activity, Sleeping, Your time) around her personality. That way both the baby and you know what’s ahead.
Hogg divides babies’ personalities into five broad categories:
1. Angel baby (a lovely cooing little being who rarely cries)
2. Textbook baby (an easy, predictable little critter)
3. Touchy baby (a baby sensitive to light, noise. A bit more challenging)
4. Spirited baby (a baby who knows what she likes and who will holler when her nappy is soiled!)
5. Grumpy (Oh boy. A baby who is just plain unhappy and will cry about anything. Try to find a babysitter for this one.)
I must admit that I felt a bit of chill down my spine when I read this bit in bed, 4:30 am yesterday morning. I don’t want a grumpy baby! I want a lovely smiley cuddly thing that sleeps lots, an Angel baby. This is what we all want. I didn’t order a baby who cries at strangers and is hopeless to put to sleep. But this is the thing about pregnancy; we cannot control what we end up with. One of your eggs merges with one sperm out of millions. You can end up with any baby with any kind of personality (or disease or disability), and you must deal with it. It’s a bit like diving off a steep cliff. You’ve taken reasonable precautions – such as checking that water is deep enough – but in the end you must take a leap of faith that it all will be alright.
My pregnancy has been such a breeze, so it wouldn’t surprise me if I end up with a challenging baby. If so, I think the best way to handle that is to accept the baby for what she is, and find a way of caring for her that works.
I don’t expect the heavens to open with singing angels when my baby is born. You need to know someone before you can love someone. I think the first few days home from the hospital will be exhausting, stressful and tearful. But I know we will soon adore the boy or girl for what they are, be it a grumpy baby or an angel!
7 Comments
Tuesday, September 18, 2007 at 8:21
Love this entry. I might get the book, because her approach sounds right up my alley. I worry sometimes that many people seem to treat all babies they same way without recognizing that these are people. Really little people who poop their pants, but people all the same, with all the quirks and varieties that make us all human.
I was just thinking this morning about how I need to be prepared for the first month to just be a disaster. I give myself that leeway when I start a new job, why wouldn’t I expect that for a new baby?
Wednesday, September 19, 2007 at 10:34
Dear Aliasmother,
So far, I think the book makes a lot of sense. She talks about a system that benefits the baby AND family. I think if the baby controls every aspect of your life, you might feel resentful at times, so if you can form some structure in the baby’s life, that would be good for everyone.
On the same note, there is a TV documentary starting here in the UK on the various approaches to raising babies. It’s called Bringing Up Baby and starts next Tuesday. I have no idea where you live, but it looks like you might be able to view this online. Check out http://uk-tv-guide.com/programme-details/Channel+4+Plus+1/25+September+2007/21%3A00/Bringing+Up+Baby/
I shall be glued to the TV set…
Wednesday, September 19, 2007 at 4:24
Even though your pregnancy has been such a breeze, that doesn’t mean you have to get a grumpy/difficult baby.
My first pregnancy was also a very easy one, even the delivery wasn’t hard at all and what I was blessed with is an angel of a child.
My son has a very sweet character and is next to that very smart, so yeah he challenges people and tries how far he can push his limits, specially now he is out of my hands.
If he knows he can be treated as a king, he won’t settle for less. Which is the case in his current situation. If he is here with me, he is a boy that is helpful, caring and loving for others.
So the way I look at it, is that we as parents or who ever takes care of a child is of influence on how a child is or becomes…
Wednesday, September 19, 2007 at 6:41
Hi Catzel,
I wasn’t entirely serious about what I said (I like to dose everything with some sarcasm…). We might very well end up with an angel baby, just like happened to you..
I find this whole birth/baby thing a little stressful. As a way to cope with this, I’m trying to be as realistic as possible, or to think of the upcoming events as worst case scenarios and then I find solutions for those. This may sound pessimistic, but I rather think of solutions to problems than being absolutely overwhelmed. Guess I’m a bit of a control freak..
If you have any advice for the birth and the first few days, please feel free to share…
Glad to hear that you have such a good relationship with your son! And you are absolutely right, it’s the parent/caretaker who determines what the child becomes.
Thursday, September 20, 2007 at 3:59
Why do you find the birth/baby thing a little stressful? Don’t you cause yourself stress with thinking of those things? I rather try and stay positive & optimistic.
And I like to keep in control as well, but I would coop with ‘problems’ as they would cross my path and not to occupy my mind with things that ‘might’ happen. But that might have to do with how my life went and how I live it.
Advice for birth is kind of hard since every birth is different. Stay as calm as you ‘possibly’ can (you can think more clearly), listen good to the doctors, they are there to help
(They could be ‘annoying’ on delivery, cause you want the baby out and they might say to hold it a sec.) Squeeze your partners hand veryyyyyyy hard, for me it was good pain and anger relief 
Think that any pain you have is ‘good’ for something, you will get a precious miracle in return.
Thursday, September 20, 2007 at 4:00
Why do you find the birth/baby thing a little stressful? Don’t you cause yourself stress with thinking of those things? I rather try and stay positive & optimistic.
And I like to keep in control as well, but I would coop with ‘problems’ as they would cross my path and not to occupy my mind with things that ‘might’ happen. But that might have to do with how my life went and how I live it.
Advice for birth is kind of hard since every birth is different. Stay as calm as you ‘possibly’ can (you can think more clearly), listen good to the doctors, they are there to help
(They could be ‘annoying’ on delivery, cause you want the baby out and they might say to hold it a sec.) Squeeze your partners hand veryyyyyyy hard, for me it was good pain and anger relief 
Think that any pain you have is ‘good’ for something, you will get a precious miracle in return.
Friday, September 21, 2007 at 6:17
I think it’s only natural for a primigravida to be a bit worried about what’s ahead. First, the birth itself is a huge event, in both am exciting and scary way. Then your whole life changes completely, literally overnight, and you wonder how to deal with sleepless nights and a crying baby. So yes, I’m a bit stressed, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not happy about my pregnancy. I’m looking forward to be a ‘Mamma Mia’!