Letter to child (37+4)

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Dear Child, 

I must say I have enjoyed our close relationship over the past few months, but I’m afraid it must come to an end very soon. Yes, dear, that means an end to the 24-hour womb service.

Soon it’s time for your to stand on your own two feet, however wobbly. But until then, we need to discuss our current living arrangement to make your parents’ lives a bit more pleasant. Baby, a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T isn’t too much to ask for.

First, I know that your room is getting small, but really, there’s no need to punch your fists and headbutt the walls. This only puts a strain on mummy’s plumbing and sewer systems. Frankly, your shenanigans are sometimes painful and I’m worrying about subsequent leakage upon your departure. And funnily enough, your mad boxing activies often coincide with me trying to relax in the TV sofa at night. 

Also, the amount of waste you create takes a toll on me. I’m up every night like clockwork, emptying the buckets, and it’s a bit tiring by now.

So if you could please have just a little consideration to those living around you, that would be great.

I’m glad we had this talk.

Respectfully Yours,

Mamma Mia            

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